There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
