And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize