He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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