we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
