he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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