What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
