I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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