New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
