covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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