We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
