We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
