Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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