Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize