I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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