I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
