Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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