His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize