Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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