I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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