But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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