you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I have demons in me.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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