This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
