I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
