my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
My first STD was from a foam party
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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