Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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