i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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