Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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