OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
