just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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