Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
