I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
