That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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