This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
