Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize