How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
