what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
