shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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