glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
