i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
