but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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