Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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