she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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