If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
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I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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