Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
