idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
