shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
