Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Let's get the cat blown out
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
