Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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