i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's the barista slut.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
