I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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