I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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