My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
