even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
