i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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