My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
