I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
