so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
