the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
