U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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