I can't watch pbs sober anymore
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
