I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
