I am full of burrito and curiosity
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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