Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
