I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You can't special order awesome
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
